Portland can be a tough city for making new friends: Scientists have ranked us dead last in extroversion, and the long rainy winters don’t help.
Dresden De Vera, founder of Throw Snakes Tours and a self-described friend-for-hire, recently joined the City Cast Portland podcast to talk about how to meet new people:
Bring Your Inner Golden Retriever Energy
The first step is to practice putting yourself out there. De Vera calls it “putting out your bat signal.” But also get excited to see other humans — and make sure you’re showing that.
“There's Dresden, who's pretty easygoing, and then there's Dresden-plus, who's the golden retriever side,” he says. “When people see a golden retriever, their immediate reaction is like, ‘Dude, look at all this love that's being offered to me!’”
How To Get Over the Awkwardness
De Vera recommends cluing into other people’s body language. “Your energy introduces you before you even speak,” he says. Pay attention to how people are communicating: Are they facing you? Are they looking in another direction?
De Vera also says asking a low-stakes opening question is effective. Ask someone how their day is, but also: “Say it and mean it. I think people pick up on that, and notice it as an invitation to say more,” he says.
Own Your Introversion
Being a bit of an introvert isn’t a bad thing, as long as you’re self-aware. “It creates this knowledge that human connection is still a part of a spiritual diet,” he says. “There are a lot of introverted meetups like book clubs or saying ‘let's go on a hike together.’”
Where To Find Your Community
“There’s this quote that goes, ‘Go where you love and your friends will be there waiting for you,’” De Vera says.
🪩 For Dancers
Check out Mount Tabor Dance Community or Fernhill Dance.
🧶 For a Wide Range of Hobbies
The Meetup app has everything from hiking,bicycling, and running groups, to drinking and reading groups.
🍺 For Drinkers
“If you start becoming a regular at your local bar, I think people start to open up to you over time,” he says. “Especially if you bring good energy with you.”
🍈 For Non-Drinkers
De Vera says kava is “the next big thing.” Check out Kava Saia on East Burnside or Nalu Kava in North Portland.
What’s worked for you? Where have you made friends in Portland? Email us!
